Monday it is...

Just returned from Dr. B's office, the reproductive endocrinologist that Johnson sent us to.  He managed to do the saline histogram with far less pain than she did, but with pretty much the same lack of result.  Yep, there is some sort of 'stricture' as he put it, a blockage, an adhesion that won't allow the catheter to actually go very far and thus, they can't see anything or know anything - except that I need to do the hysteroscopy surgery on Monday as scheduled.  

The hope is that Johnson will be able to visualize what at this point can only be faintly seen and felt through an ultrasound.  The other hope is that the blockage or adhesion is a small area that she can simply cut through, opening up the rest of my uterus and that all will be back to normal after that.  Well, semi-normal.  Even if all of that goes smoothly and the adhesions are minor, it will require me to be on estrogen for at least a month - which translates into another month or two until we would even be able to try to conceive.  

It's a bummer. But more than that, I'm just pissed that I didn't insist on the histogram sooner.  I knew at the end of November that something wasn't right, that my period felt like it should have come but didn't.  If we had started this process then, well, who knows.  Instead, we are now 5 months down the road and only hoping that 6-7 months down the road, well...that we can actually even be on the road!  Right now, we're just going to have to spend a few months at this pitiful truck stop they call infertility and hope that we actually move forward some time soon.  

I hope it goes well. I hope it's not a worse case scenario.  I hope my doctor knows what she's doing.  I hope that new adhesions don't form.  I hope we are able to try again soon.  I hope we are successful.  

Small Celebrations

Dr. Johnson is awesome.  Yesterday after work, I noticed three calls from a blocked number.  I didn’t give it too much thought since how the hell could I call ‘blocked’ back?  As I pulled up into the driveway, ‘blocked’ called again.  It was Johnson. 

“Hey, how you feeling?” 

“Aahhh, you know, frustrated. I just wish we knew what was going on.”

“I know; I’m frustrated, too.  Not as much as you probably, but I am for sure.”

The thing about Dr. Johnson is that I believe her.  That’s part of why she is awesome, but also because even though I didn’t specifically ask her to, she decided to call a good friend of hers who is a reproductive endocrinologist.  She told him all about me and what has led us up to now.  He has agreed to see me on Thursday before the hysteroscopy the following Monday.  Hallelujah!  I don’t know why this makes me so excited.  I guess it’s just the feeling that an expert in fertility (or infertility, depending on if your glass is half empty) will be giving me some advice and know-how.  He came from Johns Hopkins – he must be a rock star, right?

When I spoke with his nurse this morning, she said that he would attempt the do the saline histogram that Johnson tried to do but was unable to do, along with an ultrasound.  I’m so hopeful that he will be able to do the histogram.  Even that will give us a great deal of information.  If he is able to see the uterine lining, he will be able to tell if there is scarring or any number of other possible physical issues that are the problem.  If there are, then we will go ahead with the hysteroscopy on Monday, but at least with an idea of what to expect once Johnson gets in there. 

And if there aren’t, then we know that it might have to do with hormones, ovaries, or something else.  And then, we can work that route.  Brett says it’s like “House.”  Right…just like it.  I just want to be optimistic that we will get some answers on Thursday.  I really, really hope so.

So now, it’s on to celebrate this blasted birthday.  Brett says I’m being a little Don Draperish about the whole thing. 

Zou Bisou Bisou. 

(And sorry if you don’t get the reference, but you really should be watching Mad Men!)