Well, it’s beginning to feel like spring, especially this
weekend. The sun is out, the
temperatures are rising and all over our backyard the daffodils and tulips are
starting to bloom. The Pacific Northwest
can be truly amazing in the spring. Last
year at this time, it seemed like we were hopeful that our miscarriage might
have been a fluke. We were trying on our
own and it felt like things were getting back to normal. Little did we know that last year at this
time was really just the beginning, again.
We have become experts at waiting. We have submitted our
grant application to the Pay it Forward Fertility Foundation. We will find out in mid- April whether we
will be the lucky recipients of a partial or full grant amount. We are hopeful. The organization is one of two that we have
found after exhaustive searches that attempt to help couples pay for the
outrageously expensive cost of infertility treatments. They are based out of North Carolina and have only this grant cycle opened up their grant to residents of other states. We are keeping our fingers crossed. If we don't hear positive news by mid-April, we will apply to the other grant due at the end of April. And then, if neither of those pan out, we aren't sure what we will do next. We have made some progress - much thanks to those of you who have helped our cause.
I had hoped that there would be more grants out there or organizations who specifically work with cancer survivors. Having been a cancer survivor and seeing as
how Dr. B thinks that perhaps cancer treatment is partially to blame for our
situation, I contacted the Komen Foundation to find out if they had any
programs or knew of any. Unfortunately,
they didn’t. Their stance, at this point,
is trying to advocate with doctors about informing their patients about the
risks to their fertility when they undergo treatment. And, to the credit of the cancer community,
there are many programs that help women finance egg retrieval and freezing
before they begin treatment. And, as I
think I’ve mentioned before, when I underwent treatment, freezing eggs wasn’t
even an option. It is pretty cool to
think that in the last 10 years, such major shifts and changes have
occurred. Science can move so quickly
sometimes.
Lady Business Alert! In
other annoying news, my own cycles have stopped, again. I think there was a part of me that was
holding out hope that perhaps we would still be able to find that one in a
million egg that was not damaged by chemotherapy and be able to have our own
baby. Then, this month, the reality
hit. My period didn’t come and I’m not
pregnant. Which means we are back where
we were post-miscarriage. It is possible
that it is due to cervical stenosis – which basically means the cervical opening
is too narrow for anything to get in or to get out. So, even if we did want to give it our best
shot we would have little success. Back
I go on Monday to have my cervix dilated.
Hopefully, at the very least, I will return to having a period next
month. And really, at this point, that
pretty much would be success at this point. So frustrating and so annoying. It’s sad that I long for the days when I
would have horrible cramps and periods. Oh,
how things have changed.
And, if all of that doesn’t work, then it is possible that I didn’t
ovulate – which would be strange given I’m a pseudo-scientist tracking
everything about my cycles. But, I guess
anything is possible – that’s one thing I’ve certainly learned. And if that is the case, well, that's not good either. Insert big sigh here.
So, onwards we go.
Keep your fingers crossed for the grant.
We need all the help we can get. Here is the link to our fundraising site if you can't figure out what to do with that tax refund you might be getting!
