Come on let me tell you 'bout my best friend...

On this night a year ago, we were just finishing up dinner at the Lucky Lab, hashing out the plans for the morning and Jack’s big arrival.  We laugh now about my plan to eat cinnamon rolls and drink mimosas as soon as the c-section was done.  In and out!  Lickity split!  Ha!  No one had the heart to tell me, ‘Girl!  You’ll be lucky if you can sit up, let alone eat a cinnamon roll or have a cocktail!”

We came home from pizza, packed our bags and oh, how it felt like Christmas Eve.  That next morning, up early and to the hospital before 6 and Jack Elliot in the world by 8 am, December 18^th.  What a day! And what a year it has been since! A year of so many firsts – both amazing and trying at all once.  A year that at one time seemed so impossible to imagine, and one that now could never be duplicated, never will be and seems to have passed too quickly.

Last year, we were blessed with a newborn baby. At 9 lbs. 14 oz. he seemed delicate and fragile to us, but he was sturdy and strong from the get-go.  And this year, we are blessed to have a toddler walking, albeit not very smoothly, up and down the hall, across rooms and into places he probably shouldn’t be. 

We are blessed with a sweet boy, who truly has strong opinions – he knows what book he wants to ‘read’, he knows what book he wants you to read, he knows what kitchen utensil he would like to play with, he knows whose cell phone he would prefer to mess with.  This boy, he knows what he wants.  

We are blessed with a babbler and a comedian.  He has caught on to what makes us laugh and we have caught on to what makes him laugh.  A peek around a corner, a sudden nonsense word, and an “I’m gonna get yooouuuuu” are always certain to get a laugh from any and all of us. 

We are also blessed (or rather Jack is blessed) with my good sense of rhythm.  A good song can produce a head bob and leg stomp.  In fact, sometimes he looks just like Elvis.  Almost. When that right leg gets going…

We are blessed. If you know this little man at all, you know exactly what I mean.  Yes, we have never lost more sleep than we have in this last year.  Yes, we have probably never worried as much as we have this last year.  Yes, we have never, or I have never called my doctor as many times to ask about such seemingly ridiculous things, such as ‘He has a cough, is it a cold?' Repeat again in two days, 'He has a cough, still just a cold?'

Yes, this year has been full of as many firsts for us as it has for Jack.  And as this first year comes to a close, I feel more fortunate, more gratitude than I ever have.  Jack Elliot is amazing.  Every day, I feel so lucky to be his momma and so glad he has such a wonderful dad in Brett.  We truly are the lucky ones.

So at night, after we have exhausted the nighttime reading list, have turned out the lights, we rock to sleep while I tell him this story:  

There once was a girl and a boy who got married and decided that they wanted to have a baby.  It wasn’t easy for them though and as much as they hoped and prayed, a baby never came.  And then one day after many years, they found out that finally, a baby was on his way. They couldn’t have been happier.  So they planned and they prepared and they waited as patiently as they could for their little man to arrive.  After months of waiting, the day had finally arrived and early in the morning on that cold December day just a week before Christmas, he arrived.  Never had the now Momma and Daddy been so happy.  Never had they felt such joy and relief to have him in their arms.  He is the apple of Momma’s eye and Daddy’s special guy.  Finally they were a family.  And this little baby is so loved by his Momma and his Daddy and his grandmas and grandpa and aunties and uncles and cousins and great grandmas and great grandpa.  Boy, is this baby loved. 

And so he is.  Happy 1st Birthday Jack Elliot!  We love you so much!  Thank you for blessing our lives and giving us the opportunity to be your parents.   

A New Life

Jack Elliot Duesing
Born December 18, 2013
9lbs. 14 oz.
20.5 inches long

Well, he is here and it is hard to believe that he is over 3 weeks old!  'They' say the time goes by quickly and I can now confirm that 'they' are right.  I do not know where the time has gone.  To be fair, I am going on half the sleep and probably half the calories and days and nights are truly a blur.  But still...

I want to get his birth story down before I forget it and I already feel the memories fading ever so slightly as they are replaced by new, even more amazing memories of Jack. 

The most important aspect is that this little man, Jack Elliot Duesing, is truly a little miracle.  We woke early, really early Wednesday, December 18^th, 2013 in order to get to Providence Medical Center for our 5:30 check-in.  The whole morning felt surreal – it was hard to imagine that we were leaving our house for the last time as a couple, and would be returning with a new baby and a new family.  Just like that. 

The morning was cold, freezing to be exact.  We had just had a few weeks of freezing and below freezing temperatures and that morning was no exception.  We gathered our bags, made sure the dogs were fed, chickens had water and out we went. 

We arrived on time and checked into the maternity ward.  We were set up in our room and immediately things were on their way.   Our nurse came in, started to get all the lab work done and get us prepped for surgery.  The anesthesiologist arrived, a nurse to get the IV going, and eventually Johnson, herself.   Brett was given what can only be described as a white spacesuit and booties and by 7:30 we were being wheeled into the operating room.  If you’ve ever been in an operating room, you know two things about them: they are freezing cold and they are the brightest rooms you’ve ever been in. 

Up until this point, I think I had kind of hoped that perhaps we would still be able to have a natural childbirth.  But as luck would have it, and I do truly believe it was luck, we were having a C-section.  It is a strange way to have a baby; I can say that.  I’ve seen natural births before and this was nothing like that.  Brett was waiting outside the OR until they had everything ready to go.  After receiving the spinal block, not an epidural, my body became entirely numb from my chest down.  I was laid down on the table.  A tent was placed at about chest level that kept Brett and I from seeing the actual procedure.  And Brett was allowed in.  Johnson looked over the tent and said, “Let’s have a baby!”

What happened next wasn’t painful or uncomfortable, but it was a lot of tugging and pulling.  I could see Johnson’s face and hear her – she was getting quite a workout trying to get Jack out.  It went on for what seemed like forever.  I kept waiting to hear the emerging cry of a new baby…waiting…the longer it took, the more worried I became.  It seemed like it was taking an awful long time to get him out.  I expected that once the incision was made, out he would come.  At some point, we heard the anesthesiologist call out “two minutes.”  Neither Brett nor I knew what that meant, but my gut told me that any call out of time was probably not a good thing.  Things seemed to get a little more frantic and within just a few moments I saw one of the nurses bring Jack over to the baby warmer.  Johnson told Brett that he could head on over to the warmer.  A number of nurses and doctors circled around the warmer and within just a few moments, I finally heard his cry.  Relief.  Breathe.  I could finally breathe.  I felt like I had spent the last 9 months holding my breath, waiting for this little guy to come and worrying that he might not.  Johnson told Brett to go and cut the cord.  She looked down at me, assuring me he was fantastic, weighed a whopping 9 lbs. and 14 ounces, and the process of ‘closing me up’ began.  As she worked sewing things back up, delirium set in and the most intense chills and shakes I have ever experienced.  And nausea, the last thing I wanted to do was to get sick.  Brett brought Jack over to me, I kissed his little cheek and then he was whisked away to the nursery where he was thoroughly checked out.  Brett went with him.  Although I was still filled with worry and apprehension, I knew it was going to be okay. He was here with us.  After two long years, being told we had a 1-in-a-million chance of it happening - he was finally here. 

What we now know is that he was very, very transverse.  He was basically laying sideways with his back to my front.  Johnson and her colleague struggled and fought to get him out.  They tried to get him out foot first, that didn't work.  Then they tried to get him out headfirst, that wouldn’t work.  Ultimately, she had to make another incision vertically in order to get him out.   What does it matter?  It definitely has made the recovery a bit more extensive and it means that if there are more babies in the future, I won’t ever be able to have a natural birth.  Johnson seemed so apologetic when she told me that she had to make the additional incision, but all I kept thinking was whatever it took to get Jack here safely is all that mattered.  All that does matter. 

I still don’t know what the time meant and I don’t really want to know.  But all the nurses were calling Johnson a rock star in the delivery room.  Later she told us that it was one of the most difficult deliveries she’d done.  Later, she told us that there has only been one other time that she has completed a delivery and wanted to ‘take a moment’ to herself before she began to stitch things back.  And to be clear – she is a rock star.  I cannot tell you how much I love this doctor.  She is one special woman and an extraordinary doctor.

And so here we are 3 weeks later…Jack is growing and we are getting into the groove of having a newborn.  Life, of course, has changed.  My friend Errin came to stay with us shortly after we got home from the hospital and mentioned that it would be hard for us to even remember our life pre-Jack and she was right. 

He is amazing.  He is beautiful.  He is perfect in every way.  Not sure where this blog will go now.  We shall see.  Thanks to everyone who has followed us along this journey, cheered us on, and supported us in so many different ways.  We are off on a new journey with Jack leading the way.